I love this blogging community! I have to admit though I will not be posting everyday as much as everyone says I should emotionally I cant.

So I have been very lonely lately. I am really struggling with being alone with no husband or partner. IT is so hard.

At the same time I know that this right. I need to heal. I need restoration.
God is helping with all this. I am trying to really prioritize my physical restoration in my mind. If I don't it wont happen.

My girls take so much of me. I need to really make a MASSIVE effort to make time for me.
I have been logging what goes in my mouth everyday. Sometimes it is actually quite scary. It is so good to have a food diary.

I am going to visit my parents in MI in the summer. This is a gift from my MIL which is SO unbelivably genrous. As her son and I are not longer together. She has been a amazing support to me on a daily basis. She loves her grandgirls so much.

So I am thinking how much can I lose in 6 months?????????

OK so I need to challenge myself to start cooking more creative foods.
I have gotten really lazy about it and I need to shake things up so I don't get bored.

Need to change my walking routine around as well. I know I have to walk to school. On the days I don't walk her up there I want to do a run/walk on the treadmill.

I am TRYING so hard to keep changing my mindsets. Instead of ohhhhh I have a morning off... I need to say OK I have a opportunity to change things up and do something different.

I am changing slowly but surely...

I thought I was slipping into " treat wknd mindset " again. BUT safe to say I have not give in.

My Eldest who is 3 yrs old, is starting to really scare me. I know we shouldn't put our fears of our weakness onto our kids but she seems to have mirrored some of my bad habits regarding eating.
I am changing me.
Slowly but surely I am becoming a new more in control person. A person who loves and embraces discipline. A person who does not ignore pushing her body in exercise and physical activity.

I am a new person.

Well I have been walking to school with the kids. Actually one walking and pushing the other in the pram. I have eased myself back into it I am still a bit weak from being sick.

I am proud of my attitude to get strong and healthy I am not proud of the fact that I am 27 feeling 57.
It is so hard mentally to actually take responsibility for the horrible state I have let my body get into.
Thank God I can turn things around.

I honestly feel as if I am a snail climbing a mountain but one slither at a time huh?

I really appreciate all your encouraging comments it means so much to me.

Well I never thought my life would turn out like this!

Being a single Mommy is tough. When the girls get sick and I get sick its is hard!!
But little one is on antibiotics and hopefully will be turning a corner soon.

I am so very determined to start shifting my focus back to being more creative with healthy cooking! I am going to start walking my oldest to school tomorrow. My MIL has been great giving her lifts to school since me and Little one were sick.

I am going to be a healthy, sexy woman when I get a divorce next year.

I am tired of people looking down on me and telling me what I will or will not accomplish.

Well we have been really sick. Sick Tummy's and all.

I am completely drained.

I am back.


I am such a loser for avoiding accountability but I am good at blocking things and avoiding, its what I have done for a long time. I am grasping that I don't have to do it in the future.

Well I have not weighed in a while. I turned 27 on the 1st of Nov and so had a busy week having fun!!!

I have not lost control and binged.
I just have not held myself accountable in what goes in my mouth. I liked " not Thinking " about it so much.

Anyways time to get over the past few weeks and get in the groove again.